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If a person is determined to have it his or her own way, then to be in the presence of God would be Hell… If you reject God in this life, then you would reject him in a million lifetimes, because it’s clear that it is all about you… RAVI

If you’ve ever read one of his books, certainly if you’ve heard him speak…Ravi’s likely right.  But it still takes a bit for that to settle without indigestion in my stomach.  All the pleas for a melting heart, a crushing blow to the brick wall of stubbornness in him, a softening of her pride – making her feel safe not small in humility, can be legitimately changed over time or in a REM cycle, car crash, blackout, or messy trip.  I trust that.   

Or. . .that stubborn pride can be his truest heartbeat.  The deepest love of her soul can be self-satisfaction. 

And, as with Israel in her rebellion, the Lord gave her kings when she wanted kings, judges when she wanted judges, adultery when she wanted that, too.  None of it good, and here is she, still estranged from Him because of that stubborn will.   

What a mess when certainty and tunnel-visioned ignorance stomp the pursuit of truth into the curbs and gutters of this alleyway life.  I sometimes wish they didn’t want the things I don’t.  And hate the things I love.  But, sick truth is, that kind of heart unchanged will never want to live with me in the glory of eternity. 

I always picture them regretting their absence of choice, but I’m wondering if it will be regret.  Or if the cursing with just get louder, as if it’s the fault of the God who doesn’t exist.