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Females: How many ways can you ask your friend if he had his pants on without getting yourself in a bit of a sticky situation? In regards to the same potentially pant-less situation, we achieved two elusive attempts at this question the other night. And all parties in question are still on speaking terms, as far as I know.

My friend Trey (whose real name will be withheld for health insurance purposes, etc., though he doesn’t condone the substituion of this particular name, either) missed out on a short portion of his life last week and despite the trauma, he was in his car and driving home within minutes.

This day at the gym was legs. Trey would pump some iron by way of the leg extension machine and the leg press, the latter of which he may have had to wait in line for, behind the gyms other manly men. He would end his workout on the stationary bike, getting in thirty of so minutes of cardio. All in a day’s work.

But maybe in some other day’s work, because between lifting hundreds of pounds with only his legs and stationarily biking trails through Colorado mountaintops, Trey made a trip to the little boys room.  And stationary bike was officially removed from his workout henceforth. 

He explains it like this: You know when you stand up too fast and all the blood rushes to your head, making you dizzy? And when he does, we all know that he wasn’t standing in front of that urinal for very long.

True story, Trey woke up lying on the bathroom floor a few feet from the urinal, many feet from the stationary bike, and wondering how much time had passed since the line for the leg press.  Everything was in place, no bumps, no blood.  A sore elbow clued him in to the way in which his body had decided to take this emergency landing, and the legs, of course, felt great.  Pants, crucially, were in their proper position.  Trey eyed the man entering the bathroom as they passed.  What does he know? and drove away from the gym with his bruised elbow, strong legs, and unfinished workout.