Driving West

Today’s the day you drive West and so I woke up early so I could try and wear my hair in a way that isn’t your favorite to wash away the fantasy that you’ll miss me and you’re mine. Even in my advocate efforts, I thought all morning about what I might bring for you, you know, to see you off. Something small for you to have in your car while you drive. Everything was trivial, childish. But what, then, is the wind-up panda bear that hangs from my rear-view mirror? You gave it to me at the zoo while we sipped slurpees through whistling straws.

I feel young this week. Much younger than you, maybe even my full thirteen years behind with all the ways you’ve been dating your music and television lately. You sometimes try to separate us like that, but you left me your sweatshirt the other day at the zoo and I wore until it didn’t smell like you anymore. When I gave it back, I’m sure it smelled like me. I hope you’ll take it with you to the West coast, where the sun beats down hard, and your black sweatshirt will melt in the car. 

I saw your face light up while you traced your drive through the Rockies as you told me where you’d stop on the way. Denver after too many hours with no sleep and a place called Tombstone where there’s movies and music. You said it’s certain, no Las Vegas, and I was glad. There’s a lot to do and you’re afraid it will be chaotic, but I know it will be relaxing and exciting. I just hope you don’t drag too much over missing the Stanley Cup, watching your home team play in the finals. I know you love it, and I only do because of you. Everyone wonders why I care about the Penguins, I grew up in Chicago. I don’t tell then that it’s easier to pour into loving your team, than to complicate things and get any more involved with you. 

I’ll love the Penguins for you while you’re away. But as I pin back my hair, I decide not to bring you anything for the trip. I’ll spend something like ten dollars once you start texting me and I’ll update you on the hockey games while you drive through the night. You’ll love me for that, and there’s still nothing between us but miles and miles of road for this one week. 

1 thought on “Driving West”

  1. lbcarizona said:

    GWYNEDD: Excellent! Love the first sentence. Love the whole piece.

    WILKECOLLINS: LBC, I appreciate about everything in this except for the Penguins. The Penguins? The Blackhawks would be so disappointed. As for the bug lab thing…hmmm…I guess I would say that I feel that the paragraphs are a bit loose. One of the paragraphs begins with tracing a line through the Rockies and ends with an opinion on hockey fandom. I think it might be more effective to break the paragraphs apart and develop each idea. For example, the whole hockey discussion should be one or two paragraphs alone, while the line tracing and the discussion of the route could occupy a separate paragraph. When you break it apart, I think you’ll find the flow to be more natural. Good luck, I like the idea of a travelogue told from the viewpoint of the one that stays at home.

    Now that I read it again, I am not sure that the “stream of consciousness” should be reined in, yet I still think breaking up the paragraphs is a good idea. Hmmmm…..still thinking.

    SPARKS: I like how the first two paragraphs flow; might want to tweak some of the details to give us something more to grasp on as we read.

    I am all for stream of consciousness especially if you are on a road trip.

    Nice stuff.

    SRHGOMPF: I like the stream of conciousness approach for this topic. It fits the situation. Nicely done.

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